Sunday, January 12, 2014

meant2be events & picking your bridal party

So one of the discussions that happens often with my clients is related to bridal party drama. I have been witness to much shinanigans between a bride and her bridal party.

 We can honestly say that almost 50% of my brides will "fire" a bridesmaid at some point in the planning process.
In part I feel this happens for a few reasons. First, you are NOT obligated to have someone stand for you in your wedding because you did in their's.  Friendships change and evolve. Asking someone to buy a dress, hair & makeup as well as attend functions and appointments along the way is an honor and a responsibility. Consider if you are even slightly questioning if you want them in your wedding- you can guarantee that they are too!

Next, give your bridal party some slack. They have commitments in their own lives they have to honor too. Give them ample notice if you need something done- such as tuxedo rental or alterations. Consider your gift to them be something that helps them be a better attendant, such as hair & make up or shoes for the girls, or tie or shoes for the guys. This makes your vision easier for them to maintain and keeps you sane as well!

Last, your bridal party numbers dont have to match!! It kills me when I have the stand in bridesmaid/groomsman who could care less about the outcome of your day simply because of symmetry. And I ask "why do you want them standing for you?" The answer ALWAYS is "I want it to look right."  And my response always is 2 fold- first you dont even care if that person is there-how does that REALLY look?? And if I can teach you anything about design- ODD NUMBERS is the golden rule!  When someone drops out they don't need to be replaced nor do we need to add unnecessary placeholders if someone is added to the other side. 

In doing my field research along the way...I found this great Craigslist Ad for fill in bridesmaids!

Looking for Bridesmaids - w4w

Date: 2009-02-27, 8:53PM CST
[Errors when replying to ads?]

So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn't just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won't have to pay for a thing.

Hope to hear from you!

  • Location: Madison

Moral of the story- you are choosing your supporting cast for your big day. There are no rules, no obligations, no need for drama! You only have a very short precious amount of time to spend with friends and family planning and celebrating your relationship- cherish it and pick your bridal party wisely!

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